Lilly Bolen plays for pink in honor of her mom’s breast cancer journey

In the final months before Lilly Bolen’s mother, Lauren, passed away, she told her children she had three requests of them.  

Lauren wanted Lilly; her brother, Alex; her sister, Kathryn; and their dad, Michael, to continue to travel and see the world as a family, traveling to a new destination each year. The second request was that they give back and find organizations or charities that are meaningful to them and where they could have an impact.  

She didn’t get to the third request, as two weeks after Lilly’s 2017 high school graduation, Lauren passed away. Lilly took her mom’s wishes with her as she set off that fall as a student athlete at Tufts University, where she would build support for other families affected by breast cancer through a campus-wide fundraiser.

A practical playbook

Lilly’s road to college athletics began early, as she and her siblings played multiple sports as young kids. Her parents supported their children in all of their endeavors. Lauren, at the time a pharmaceutical consultant and former executive, even carved out time to be the team manager for Lilly’s middle school club basketball team.  

Then when Lilly was in sixth grade, Lauren was diagnosed with stage II breast cancer. For most of her treatment, Lauren and her husband, Michael, did their best to keep routines and activities normal, not only for the children but also to maintain Lauren’s privacy, as she was never one who wanted additional attention or sympathy. She continued working throughout treatment and continued her enduring dedication to her family. Looking back, Lilly marvels at how they managed to do it all — the treatment, a combination of chemo, surgery, and radiation, lasted well over a year.  

“My parents definitely tried to shield us as much as they could,” Lilly says. “I look back now and think: How did they manage that?” 

Lauren was never one for grand public gestures, but Lilly’s team decided the players would each wear one pink shoelace in honor of everything Lauren, their team manager, was going through. Lauren saw how the support of people around their family could show up in many different ways. When she was done with active treatment, the family was relieved to move on.  

Like many people with breast cancer, though, Lauren continued to be affected by side effects. She entered a clinical trial for monitoring lymphedema, a condition that can cause painful swelling. It is a common long-term side effect of removing cancerous lymph nodes during breast surgery.  Four years after her initial diagnosis, Lauren was diagnosed with lymphedema, which quickly became debilitating and affected her dominant hand. Throughout this difficult time, Lauren was deeply involved in Living Beyond Breast Cancer, not just benefiting from resources that could support her but taking a position on the Board of Directors to help reach even more people.  

“I know my mom felt less alone, like she was able to connect with other people who were experiencing similar things,” Lilly says. “It made her feel more in control of her own experience and was a way to take the experience she had and give back.” 

The toughest season

When Lauren’s breast cancer returned as metastatic before Christmas of 2016, Lauren leaned on her community of people living with metastatic breast cancer, many of whom lived for years with a good quality of life. After telling their children about her diagnosis, Lauren encouraged Lilly to keep her commitment to basketball practice later that afternoon. 

“She wanted us to live our lives and be happy and successful,” Lilly remembers. “And that was the only thing that really mattered to her.” 

After getting many expert opinions, Lauren got on a treatment plan that helped her continue to live life, attending Lilly’s basketball tournaments and supporting her through the college athletics recruitment process. For Lilly, all that time spent together for college recruiting brought them even closer — and kept them incredibly busy, which was a welcome distraction and way to maintain normalcy. 

Almost a year later, after a family trip to the Galapagos with her daughters, Lauren was having trouble recovering from the adventure. Back at home, she discovered fluid building up around her lungs, making it hard for her to breathe, and her lymphedema significantly worsened. 

By then, Lilly was entering her senior year and had committed to Tufts University. Lauren tried a new treatment to try to keep the disease stable, and she continued to show up to all of Lilly’s games.  

After her senior basketball season, Lilly had to have an ACL repair in February. That meant she had a lot of time recuperating at home, at the same time as Lauren’s breast cancer continued to progress. They rested together and bonded over their shared love of network TV crime shows.  

Lauren’s goal was to see Lilly walk across the stage at her graduation. Just two weeks after achieving that goal, she passed away. 

From grief to growth

Sidelined by a surgical complication, Lilly sat out her freshman year at Tufts, looking for more ways to get involved off the court. The routine and culture of being part of a team turned out to be a supportive environment as Lilly processed her grief.  

“Going into college is super lonely and it can be isolating,” Lilly says. “I think if I didn’t have the team, it would have been really hard without that community. They were really welcoming and made it easier to transition.” 

Lilly noticed that there wasn’t a specific breast cancer awareness fundraiser on campus for student athletes, and the thought stayed with her. 

By sophomore year, she had joined the Student-Athlete Advisory Committee (SAAC), a group of students from sports programs across the university that represent the student-athlete voice to administration and among the Tufts community. She brought the idea of a fundraiser to fellow leaders on the committee.  

“They were all for it,” Lilly recalls. “I could not have done it without their help.”

That October during Homecoming weekend, Lilly and the SAAC launched Play for Pink, a day of fall sports, games, and breast cancer-themed merchandise. She chose Living Beyond Breast Cancer, the organization that offered her mom community and connection, to benefit from the event. 

“Throughout the years of hosting Play for Pink, I learned that breast cancer has touched so many people that, sadly, it’s a cause that everyone can relate to,” Lilly says.  

The event grew each year, with Lilly’s teammates keeping the tradition going even after she graduated in 2021. To date, Play for Pink at Tufts University has raised over $150,000 for LBBC.  

“It was a cause that deeply affected me and my family, and LBBC was an organization that my mom believed in.”

Lilly, Alex, Kathryn, and Mike continue to support each other in fulfilling Lauren’s wishes for them. They understand just how special Lauren was and take seriously the importance of keeping her spirit with them. 

“When you lose someone, you can sometimes worry that you’re going to slowly forget about them,” Lilly says. “I was able to take my grief, my experience — losing my mom — and transform it into something that could make a difference in honor of my mom. I know that my mom would be incredibly proud of all of us.”