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Telling employers and coworkers about your diagnosis

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Deciding to tell your co-workers about your breast cancer diagnosis can be hard. Everyone’s relationships and situations at work are different.

You may want to maintain your privacy, at least at first, especially as you are working to understand your diagnosis and weighing your treatment options. You may not want to make yourself vulnerable to unwanted questions or medical opinions, or sympathy.

You may also worry that you’ll be viewed as incapable of taking on a challenging task or promotion.

On the other hand, your co-workers are an everyday part of your life, and having their practical and emotional support could be helpful. Your diagnosis and treatment may involve appointments during work hours, or you may have to take days off because of side effects. You may feel more comfortable being direct about why you may not be at work and how your work will be handled when you are out of the office.

Your co-workers may also be some of your closest friends, so it may be very natural to include them in the circle of people you talk to about your breast cancer diagnosis. Many people going through serious medical challenges find allies at work. There may be a co-worker who has gone through what you are undergoing.

No matter what your decision, remember that it is up to you to decide what to disclose and when. You may want to consider the pros and cons of sharing your medical condition over email, rather than in person.

Telling your boss or supervisor

How much to tell your supervisor or boss is another decision. You are not obligated to tell your boss the details of your medical condition. You may find it helpful to give a general sense of what is going on, especially if you are going to need time off work or flexible hours to go to doctor appointments, treatments, and testing.

Check with your human resources (HR) department or your employee manual about what you are entitled to as far as sick days, vacation, paid time off, and medical and unpaid leaves in case you need them for treatments and recovery.

If you can continue to perform the essential duties of your job and you work for a private employer with 15 or more employees (or other covered agency or organization), you may ask for “reasonable accommodations” under the Americans with Disabilities Act.

There are also some state and local laws governing medical-related time off.

It’s unlikely you are the first one in the office to have a major medical issue. Your HR department is there to help explain your company’s benefits to you.

Don’t hesitate to seek out advice from your healthcare team, accountant, financial advisor, and/or attorney as you make decisions related to work, medical leave, and disability benefits.

Creating boundaries with co-workers

As you go through treatment, you may also be faced with how to deal with questions from your co-workers. You may find it useful to establish boundaries by keeping conversations focused on work. You’ll likely appreciate having a good chunk of time when you’re seen as a professional and not a patient.

Again, you are not required to give updates or reveal details if a co-worker asks how you are. If someone persists in seeking out personal details, you can always smile and say something like “Thanks for asking. Now where were we?”

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Reviewed and updated: October 8, 2024

Reviewed by: Aimee Hoch, MSW, LSW, OSW-C, FACCC , Terri Marchlewski

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