

If you are a parent, one of your biggest worries after a breast cancer diagnosis may be how to tell your child. That concern may arise again if you have a complication or if the cancer returns.
First, take time for yourself. You need a few days to get past the initial shock, understand your situation and think about treatment choices. Discuss what lies ahead with your doctor and your spouse or partner, or someone very close to you.
Talk with your child or children before you begin telling family members outside your household.
It’s better for children of all ages if you tell them you have breast cancer instead of keeping it secret.
Children — even very young ones — can sense that something is wrong when you are under stress and household routines change. Many youngsters pick up on whispered worries by listening to adults talk. As a result, they may imagine something more terrible than what you’re trying to keep hidden.
Even if you’ve sworn others to secrecy, it won’t take long before your child hears about your medical situation from someone else. That information may be wrong and scary.
By telling your child, you choose what to say. This lets you communicate a reassuring, supportive, and hopeful message. That builds trust, promotes ongoing discussion, and protects your child emotionally. Including your children in your cancer experience can be an opportunity to teach them healthy coping strategies they can use the rest of their lives.
This advice can help you talk with children of any age:
If your child can’t listen anymore or cuts the talk short to go play, that’s normal. You can continue another time. There will be more talks ahead.
Below are suggestions for talking with children, by age. The advice for nearby ages may be helpful as well:
More tips for this age group:
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Discussion guides for talking to kids about breast cancer
This article was supported by Cooperative Agreement Number DP11-1111 from The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Its contents are solely the responsibility of the authors and do not necessarily represent the official views of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.Â