Changing Colors
- 10/26/20
Spinning with my morning online spin class, I reflected on the mellowing colors of the trees beyond my bike outside my window — greens fading to orange, yellow, red, burgundy, and tan. October is my favorite month of the year because it’s the pinnacle of my favorite season of the year, autumn. I appreciate the slowing stillness of life, the squirrels and birds gathering and foraging, and the brilliant blue skies that contrast with the fiery maples that line the streets in my town. For me, October is a time of contemplation and remembrance. As it is my birthday month, I take stock of my days circling the sun this year, a particularly positive one for me with the launch of my memoir, Again: Surviving Cancer Twice with Love and Lists. I pause and think about how far I’ve come in the 4 years since my breast cancer diagnosis. I never imagined then that the dream I had of writing a book would become a reality. Most importantly, I remember family members and friends who lost their lives to cancer.
My quietude and the season’s burnished beauty clashes with the ubiquitous bright pink ribbons plastered on products from socks to shopping bags, on football team uniforms, and in my Facebook feed, all in the name of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. To be honest, I didn’t pay much attention to Breast Cancer Awareness Month before I had breast cancer. And having experienced it, I don’t need a bag of pink Himalayan salt potato chips or a banana with a pink ribbon sticker to remind me each October to be “aware.”
In Again, I share in a frank, honest, and sometimes humorous way my dual cancer experiences and how life altering they were. My cancer diagnoses broke the timeline of my life twice. When I finished my treatment for Hodgkin’s lymphoma in 1981 as a teen, I didn’t want to think about those months of having radiation therapy, being sick, and losing part of my hair. I didn’t want to think about how alone I felt. I wanted to go back to high school to my friends and activities. I put the memories of that time in a “box” labeled “Hodgkin’s 1981” and stuck it on a shelf in the darkest corner of my mind.
Finally, Again gave me the courage to step out of my planned and ordered life and to begin a writing practice that’s led me to peaceful coexistence with life’s awe and agony. My story isn’t pink and doesn’t come with ribbons or “awareness.” But, I hope that Again will shine a light on what can be a very dark path, as so many did for me, to help guide others through their journeys.
Christine Shields Corrigan, 54, a two-time cancer survivor, wife, and mom, gives voice to the beautiful ordinary in her lyrical and practical essays. Her work about family, illness, writing, and resilient survivorship has appeared in a number of outlets. She was diagnosed with hormone receptor-positive, HER2-positive breast cancer in 2016.
Her memoir, Again Surviving Cancer Twice with Love and Lists, is available on Amazon and at independent bookstores.
A graduate of Manhattan College and Fordham University School of Law, Chris teaches creative nonfiction writing for an adult education program, provides writing workshops for cancer support groups, and serves on the programming committee of the Morristown Festival of Books. She lives in Basking Ridge, New Jersey.
Learn more at Christine's author site.