Saying “yes” and taking control while living with MBC: Lisa Sulzer

After that first lesson, she pursued a degree in aviation and completed flight training in Louisiana, just north of New Orleans, where she grew up.

“I immersed myself in flying. I loved the mechanics of it. I loved traveling. I loved every bit of it,” Lisa explains.

In 2019, a job offer took Lisa and her wife, Kristin, to Connecticut. They were splitting their time between there and Puerto Rico, where the company Lisa worked for as a pilot had a base. They began making plans to start a family and settle down more permanently.

In January 2020, Lisa, who had begun screening for breast cancer at a young age because of her family’s history of breast cancer, noticed a lump in her breast. She had a mammogram and ultrasound, and a biopsy that confirmed stage I invasive ductal carcinoma that was hormone receptor-positive. She had surgery soon after.

Lisa and Kristin’s life has changed significantly since Lisa’s initial diagnosis. In 2024, she had a breast cancer recurrence that led to a stage IV diagnosis.

Now a parent of two young children, Lisa has discovered that talking about her experience helps her feel less alone, and comforts other people living with metastatic breast cancer (MBC).

She recently spoke with LBBC contributor Stephanie Levin about the unexpected turn her life has taken. From full-time pilot to stay-at-home parent, she discussed some of the challenges — including the professional, financial, and emotional toll — of living with metastatic disease.

Q: What was going on in your life when you got the initial diagnosis in 2020?

We were in Louisiana visiting family. My wife was pregnant at the time.

I had a double mastectomy in February. I was annoyed that Kristin had to take care of me after surgery — I was supposed to be taking care of her! It was a tough time. I went through a period of depression. I worried I wasn’t going to fly again.

COVID-19 prolonged our stay in Louisiana. Our son was born in May. It was a strange experience because we couldn’t have any family in the hospital with us because of the restrictions during the pandemic.

And then I got furloughed. We finally got back to Connecticut, and eventually I was able to go back to work.

Q: You must’ve been thrilled to get back to flying and working — and back to building your life.

Yes. As a pilot, I was doing very well: I had gotten a series of promotions. I was really hitting the height of my career. Kristin, who was caring for our son and working part-time at the preschool he attended, was in school to become a teacher. We were also expecting our second child.

Q: When did you learn the cancer had metastasized?

In the spring of 2024 I had a routine exam. What I had thought was just scar tissue post-mastectomy was cancer. Then a PET scan revealed bone metastases, which meant the cancer had spread to my bones.

Q: How did things change for you and your family after that diagnosis?

I was devastated all over again. I knew I was going to get grounded because the FAA [Federal Aviation Administration] doesn’t allow a person with MBC to fly planes.

I was able to continue working from home for a while as I felt up to it, but eventually I was let go because I wouldn’t be able to fly. I was given a severance package, but in addition to losing my salary, we lost our health insurance, too. For 10 months, we were enrolled in Medicaid.

I considered looking for another kind of full-time job, but with my treatment — radiation therapy, oral chemotherapy, another surgery, and hormonal therapy — and managing side effects, I couldn’t really commit to full-time work.

Our income has changed dramatically, so we’ve had to make a lot of changes. We can only afford one car. It’s a lot to juggle. Our lives have flipped upside down. It’s part of the uncertainty that comes with living with metastatic cancer.

How have you and Kristin adapted?

We couldn’t afford to live in Connecticut anymore. And we needed our families’ support. My brother is a radiation oncologist, and he lives in Louisiana. Having that resource, someone to explain things to me, has been really helpful. So, we moved back to Louisiana at the end of 2025. My family’s here, and Kristin’s is in Georgia.

Moving was one of the hardest decisions we ever had to make. We didn’t want to raise our children in Louisiana. It still stings, but we felt backed into a corner.

Our plan had always been for Kristin to be the stay-at-home parent or work part-time, but she’s teaching now full-time. We have health insurance through her job.

I’m the stay-at-home parent. It’s not how either one of us wants it, but it’s just the way it has to be.

Being a stay-at-home parent is super demanding. I didn’t realize how tough it is, mentally and physically. And I miss flying. I miss my career and mentoring the pilots coming up behind me.

Q: Have you found any resources to help with the financial challenges you’ve faced since you had to stop working?

Yes. We’ve received help from various organizations, including LBBC. The financial help has been huge for us. It’s helped us pay for gas and groceries, and other necessities.

Other organizations offer retreats for young people with cancer and people with MBC. These experiences have given me the opportunity to relax, enjoy being in nature and participating in outdoor adventures, and make new friends.

Some groups provide trips and outings for families affected by cancer. It’s been nice to have experiences where cancer isn’t the star of the show — and Kristin and I don’t have to worry about the expenses.

Q: What has it been like living in Louisiana?

We get to see our family a lot more. But, my mom’s health isn’t great. She helps when she can. I have siblings here, but they have busy lives.

Initially, especially with a metastatic diagnosis, everybody’s shocked and scared. And then, it’s almost like everybody just forgets and goes back to their life. But Kristin and I are still trying to figure out what’s going on and how to get through every day.

We miss the home we built in Connecticut. My son started kindergarten this year. He misses his old school, his old friends, and Kristin and I miss ours. I had a great MBC support group — they were like a second family to me. I’m still in contact with them, but I haven’t found anything like that here yet.

Q: How have you coped with the losses and changes you’ve been through these past six years?

When our second child was born in the summer of 2024, I got really depressed. I wondered if I’d be here to coach soccer or see my kids go to high school dances. My wife and I were both in survival mode. That whole period was just a blur.

A couple months later, I just said to myself, “I have to get up and change things. I have to do something different.” I needed to take control of what I could because, for the most part, everything was out of my hands.

Q: What did that look like for you? What kinds of changes did you make?

I called it my “yes” phase. I did a lot of reading. I changed my diet completely and worked out religiously. I started writing (and I hope I’ll have more time at some point to get back to it).

That’s also when I started seeking out MBC support groups. Little by little, I started sharing my story, and I realized how much it helped other people. And it helped me to talk about it because I had felt so alone.

My family was doing everything they could. But I didn’t want to scare them. With people who also have breast cancer, I could share all my dark thoughts. I could help people who were newly diagnosed. I tried to turn things into something positive when and where I could.