Jae's story
Finding support & inspiration as a nonbinary person
Jae shares how their family history of cancer, a breast cancer diagnosis, and fears about discrimination sparked an interest in advocacy.
Breast cancer takes an emotional toll on anyone who is affected by the disease. The diagnosis, tests, treatments, and side effects can lead to stress, anxiety, and depression. And if you are a member of the LGBTQ+ community, and you’re facing breast cancer, your emotional needs may be different than those of cisgender and heterosexual people diagnosed with the disease.
For many reasons, people who identify as LGBTQ+ are more likely to have experienced mental health issues, including depression and anxiety, in their lives. Breast cancer can be triggering to someone who has struggled with mental health concerns, as well as with challenges within a heteronormative (assumes everyone is heterosexual) and cisnormative (assumes everyone is cisgender) healthcare system, in the past. Triggering means that the emotions that come up around breast cancer can be influenced by those past experiences.
Health disparities (differences in health care for groups that are underrepresented) and lack of resources can make finding the right emotional support a challenge if you have been impacted by breast cancer. But support is available.
One option for emotional support is a support group. Breast cancer support groups meet on a regular basis to talk about concerns or thoughts group members may have—related to both diagnosis and treatment, and life beyond cancer.
Groups may be offered for people affected by breast cancer, people caring for someone with breast cancer, or children of people with breast cancer. They may also be offered to people who share an identity and have breast cancer, such as LGBTQ+ individuals, young women, or men with breast cancer.
Some groups are organized by an experienced mental health professional, such as a social worker or therapist, who can help guide the discussion and point members to additional resources. Other groups may be organized by people affected by breast cancer who bring personal experience to the groups they organize.
In-person and online breast cancer support groups are available through hospitals, cancer centers, and cancer advocacy websites.
Accessing in-person support for LGBTQ+ people with breast cancer may require some research.* But if you know you prefer in-person support, you may be able to find it in a nearby group that is LGBTQ+ welcoming. Consider reaching out to:
After you find a group, consider going to a meeting to get a sense of the other members. Are people at ease with each other? Do they discuss concerns important to you? You might consider talking with the support group leader. Speaking with them may also give you a sense of whether the group will be able to offer you the support you need.
If you don’t feel comfortable coming out in a group that is not specific to the LGBTQ+ community, or if support groups don’t interest you, you might consider joining an online group or seeking one-on-one support with a therapist, oncology social worker, or other mental health professional.
*If you know of or run an LGBTQ+ breast cancer support group, email online@lbbc.org to let us know.
You may find a lot of benefit in seeking support through online groups or a phone hotline service that can be accessed from the comfort of your own home. These groups are also useful if you live in an area that has no in-person groups nearby.
You can find LGBTQ+-specific online cancer support or resources at:
Finding support & inspiration as a nonbinary person
Jae shares how their family history of cancer, a breast cancer diagnosis, and fears about discrimination sparked an interest in advocacy.
If peer support isn’t for you, you may seek more personalized support from a mental health professional such as an oncology social worker, psychologist, or other therapist.
Professional support is often in the form of talk therapy, or one-on-one appointments during which you talk about topics important to you. This type of therapy usually happens during in-person sessions, but telemental health sessions (using video conferencing or phone) have also become more available and common since the COVID-19 pandemic.
These appointments are confidential. That means what you discuss with your therapist is private. You and your therapist may explore thoughts or feelings related to your breast cancer experience, including its impact on you and your intimate relationships. A therapist can help you decide how to communicate with your breast cancer care team about your sexual orientation, gender identity, and other needs as an LGBTQ+ person.
Mental health professionals vary and have different training and interests. Some focus on cancer or breast cancer; some specialize in LGBTQ+ issues and needs. Others have specialties in both.
Your doctor or cancer care team may be able to recommend a mental health professional who would be a good fit for you. Directories are available at Psychology Today and GoodTherapy.org to help you locate a mental health professional who can help support you.
If you are caring for someone with cancer, you may want to connect with others who are also balancing their own needs with caring for a loved one. It may be helpful to talk with other caregivers—family, friends, and partners—of LGBTQ+ people diagnosed with breast cancer. Resources and support are available at The LGBTQ Caregiver Center and Family Caregiver Alliance (San Francisco Bay area).
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Reviewed and updated: February 12, 2024
Reviewed by: Elizabeth Cathcart-Rake, MD , Victoria Seamon, MA, LPCC
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